Answers to some of your questions:
I need to turn acpi=off in the boot so I can turn on apm. How DO I turn
on apm.
You can turn on apm by starting the apm daemon (apmd).
what suspend command do I use?
apm --suspend or apm --standby.
If you need more information than that, you might want to try:
man apm
man apmd
apropos apm
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Thx
Joshua Gimer