Answers to some of your questions:

I need to turn acpi=off in the boot so I can turn on apm.  How DO I turn
on apm.

You can turn on apm by starting the apm daemon (apmd).

what suspend command do I use?

apm --suspend or apm --standby.

If you need more information than that, you might want to try:

man apm
man apmd
apropos apm

--
Thx
Joshua Gimer